Social

Everybody is shallow but me.

Sounds arrogant doesn't it? But its applicable, albeit on a less extreme scale.

So, had my "Social" (semi-formal party held by the school) tonight. Let me tell you something of my experience with "Socials".

Aside from being the bane of my existence, school dances suck in general. It's a place for hatred to fester, malicious thought to occur, and extreme judgment to be dealt based on shallow, emphatic beliefs about appearance. It's also a place of dreams. And by dreams, I mean delusions.

Remember "Screamer"? Well, he's taken on a new position as what I like to call a Photo Pimp.
You could also call him a Photo Broker (for reason I will explain) but I think Pimp sounds more derogatory, so we'll go with that.
Basically what he'd do is brag about how he could get anybody photos alongside anybody, male, female, dressed or otherwise. He'd "pimp" out people to others for the cost of humiliation of being seen in a photo with that person. You could say he brokers deals for photos, which is where Photo Broker comes into it, but for reasons stated above, its pimp.
Another reason why I use the term pimp is because he had some Photo Hoes to offer, in the way of another of my friends. Amazing how desperate people can be. Whatever, like I said, everybody's shallow but me.

If you go to one of these dances, you're guaranteed to get your ass handed to you in what I affectionately refer to as "the mosh pit" (actually a 3x3 varnished pine dance floor on one side of the room). It's a place you go to dance, bathe in sweat, become sexually violated, and then drown in the odors of your fellow primates. Sounds exciting? Not in the slightest. It's a bit like having sex with Chewbacca really. Sweaty, hairy and violent. I guess some people just like it that way.

I spent my time tying balloons to every part of my body that I could (in between shirt buttons, ears, fingers, wrists, feet etc) and became known as "The Balloon Man" for the first hour. Then I just gnawed them all off and released some into the sky (much to the dismay of a nearby biology student, who cried "Don't do that, it might kill a dolphin somewhere!" to which I replied "It probably deserves it").

I then spent the rest of my time either pretending to enjoy the mosh pit (and being raped by Chewbacca), texting a girl I know, WiFi sniffing with my PSP, and talking to my IT teacher (the barkeep) about how half the year has me to thank for broken toes (not my fault, I swear). Also pretending to laugh at the bunch of dolts that were inhaling helium. Guess they don't realise that gases foreign to the body can kill them. Oh well, it'll probably make the world a better place (it was funny for the first fifteen times, then it just got old).

Nobody wore bras, every girl got fake-tanned (thus brown and orange was the main theme of the party), and it was all very slutty.
Oh yeah, almost forgot, this is just a gem of the evening. So I was chatting about how this is a waste of time and I'd rather be "socialising" (which is the purpose of a Social, is it not?) on #novus, than being with a bunch of awkward people I cared little about, and Screamer tells me that I'm not grown up enough to enjoy this kind of thing. If you met this guy (actual gender a question to everyone) you'd know that partying like this isn't like him, but he'd make it seem like he's the life of the party every weekend. People that try to be something they aren't isn't something I condone, in fact its something I spit on. So I'm not grown up enough to enjoy a party.
1. WRONG, BITCH.
What Screamer fails to understand is that going to parties isn't a part of growing up (his lack of understanding, no surprise. Thick as a cinderblock). Parties are an experience, one that people may or may not choose to partake in. If I choose to be doing something that he isn't, does that make me not grown up? Am I a fucking child for making my own decisions instead of being a glory-whore and going to parties because my peers do? I think not. If your mentality is similar to his (if you're not doing what I'm doing, then you should be doing what I'm doing) then you need to FORM YOUR OWN FUCKING OPINION. If you don't, you're really just ruining the world, so GTFO.

Anyway, "Mafiosa" and a couple others were alright at the party. At least they weren't being total shitcocks about the fact I didn't want to be there.


I was on live radio with Tony Martin and Scod from Tripod on Wednesday. They were talking about nerds, and wanted people to ring in and nominate someone, so I thought "Why not?".
Rang in and nominated myself, for being able to quote most of The Matrix and Lord of the Rings without assistance. It was a fun experience. Thinking of doing it more often.

That's a nice summary of my night, I think I'll leave it there. Have a good weekend.

PS: Phog, contact me on MSN.

~ don't try to resist the paradigm shift

Whybangher?

Mmm...

It's not often that I have a good Monday. In fact, I don't think there are many people at all that say they had a good Monday. Why? Monday is the beginning of the working week, a fresh start to the job they hate. Although there are those lucky ones that have the fortune of possessing a job they enjoy. However today I had a good Monday.
So anyway, let's run through my particularly unusual Monday.
First, we started with English. Sure, English is pretty normal. You've got your letters, essays, text response etc etc. However today, English was filled with the excited yet anguished mutters of my scared classmates. "OH NO, HE WAS THE SUBJECT OF A TERRORIST ATTACK!"
I hear you say. No, its okay. We weren't subject to acts of terrorism. Were were in fact getting our immunisation shots. The ones you get every few years to prevent Typhoid, Tetanus and such.
I don't have a problem with needles. On the holidays, I got several needles in preparation for my trip to Thailand. I'm over the fear of it, however my colleagues are not (something which greatly surprised me). A fact which I was able to exploit for my endless delight.

So at 10:15, we got our shots. Before the shots, everybody was crying about how it would hurt, and how painful they are. After the shots, everybody was shouting about how brave they were before. I bled profusely after my needle for some reason, but that's fine because I'm still alive with (most of) my motor functions.



However, I bet you're thinking how this makes Monday good. Well, you'd be right. If it were only this factor that made my Monday, then it wouldn't be so special. Being jabbed with metal isn't a hobby of mine. The good part of this was that I was visibly ahead of the rest of my year in terms of maturity during this activity. Fun fun fun. But wait! There's more...


I started work at 4:40 this afternoon (I was late because of a bunch of mentally disabled people that took too long to get on the bus, thus delaying arrival) with the expectation of the next three hours being as boring as dying of old age. But when I grabbed a cage and headed down to Electrical... well here's an excerpt taken from the archives of my Transcripts of Life Events.

[WALKS INTO ELECTRICAL]
"Hey Brenton"

"Hey, wanna get started?"

"HEY RANDOM GUY THAT I HAVEN'T MET YET..."

You may or may not know this, but every girl I've met at my place of work has shouted something just as vague at me when I've met them. So, another girl.

She's a Jehovah's Witness. She likes snowboarding. She's stylish, down to earth, intellectual and has a great personality.
She's also 17, and has a boyfriend. All pluses but for the last two. Ah well...

Anyway, she's a great girl, really fun to be with. Working with her actually made the expectantly dreadful three hours of labour seem too short a time. We had a lot to talk about, because oddly we have a lot in common (or she's a stalker, but that's just getting into wishful thinking). As I said, she was intellectual.
People that know me (which isn't a lot of people, but I'm betting if you read this blog, then ya do) would know that I love intellectual people. So much so that if I could spend all my time with MENSA, I would, because I think it would just be so interesting. Anyway, I was able to indulge in a long, winding discussion about religion. I consider myself to be a religion buff. I've tried most things that most people haven't. I've been from Paganism (most branches), to Buddhism, so Witchcraft, Wicca, Druidism, Neo-Paganism, and at one stage, very deeply Christian. Therefore, the chance to indulge in a conversation such as this with one other than myself is a rare opportunity that I took full advantage of. It was quite interesting.


Anyway, that is why I enjoyed my unusual Monday.

Unusual because:
- Immunisations
- Talked to a girl for more than 5 minutes without awkward silences

Enjoyable because:
- Every is a big baby bitch
- Talked to a girl for more than 5 minutes without awkward silences, which helped me get through the day.



Days like today make me wonder... perhaps there is hope for humanity after all. Probably not though.


Oh, and I bet you're wondering about the title. It's a reference to her last name (inside joke).

UPDATE: This just in, I win you, forum bitches. I win you and you die rolling.